These days...

It is getting close to my birthday and like every year at this time I am evaluating myself. Since last year at this time that I was in Philadelphia, many different happenings have occurred in my life. Even though I feel insecure since I still couldn’t solve the problem happened to me two month ago, by the whole I feel content about where I am standing.

A very big step about my recent days is going back to drawing. Drawing for me has three benefits: First, I feel I am learning and growing in something that I truly enjoy and feel passionately about it. Second, drawing sessions are also social events and I meet people who are similar to me in some aspects. Third, drawing for me also works as a meditation as I am in full concentration when I am doing it. To see my progress, I put some of my drawings on the wall weekly.The people of my drawings are not still proportionate, they either have long torso or long legs, but they talk to me as they are!

The second big step is I feel more secure and confident in relationship with other people. I am working on it and it is not perfect, but at least I can solve my own problems or I rarely have any problem. I find new friends and simply get away from people who want to accuse me or bother me with the behaviors that come from their own insecurity.

The third step is I am learning that if one part of my life is not functioning well, I should not let it ruin the other parts of my life. These days one part of my life is missing, but I am spending enough time on drawing, meditation, beauty, health and emotional life. I am sure if I keep faith, everything will be ok. In the movie of Sacrifice by Andrei Tarkowski, the father tells his son:
If you everyday go up the hill and water the dried tree it will one day become green.