Far from myself

Even if the situation of my life is going on a temporary base and I know this mono functional life will come to an end in a few months, I still feel very empty in myself. I feel I am far from myself and there is a long way to what I can be. For the last 5-6 years I have always been engaged with either being prepared for admission to school or defending a thesis.
I am tricking myself by postponing doing things that I really like as doing painting, photography, playing an instrument or making a short movie. I am trapped in a meaningless and soulless style of life.