Games People Play

A few years ago, I read a psychology book in the library of our home called “Games People Play” written by Eric Berne. The book was an analysis of the games people play in their daily relationships. Last year, when I finally released from studying at school and started a more normal life, I started to think more deeply about my relationship with others and how to respond to others behaviors. I am still working on it, but one of the most important things I learned during this year was not to start playing games with others and not to enter in their games.

“Games People Play” discusses that games have patterns and they can damage a relationship if they are repeated. For examples, I remember some of the patterns:

Pattern 1: In the middle of the shower, a woman jump out of the bathroom pretending that she has forgotten her towel trying to get attention of his husband negligently reading a news paper. She repeats this games in different ways at the night, when husband finally gets ready the woman says: “Don’t touch me I am not ready for se.. tonight”.

Pattern2: A guy pretend that he’s alone, depressed and needs attention, meanwhile he looks intelligent and innocent. He needs a girl to go and save his life. When the girls want to enter his life he refuses them.

There are many of these patterns from a father to son relationship to more complex marital relationships. It is important if we could think of our relationships with others and recognize the signs of games and avoid them in time. It is always easy to ask ourselves the question if we really want to do something or not. Are we completely ready and strong enough to do it? If we are in doubt it is better not to start playing with ours and others lives.

My brother many years ago gave me a good advice. He told me:
“Never play games with others, someone will behave you the same way one day”!